Day 17, April 14: The Tiferet in Tiferet
14/04/21 11:53
Today we come to the Tiferet within Tiferet! What is the harmony or balance within harmony? How are we to understand this?
For this 17th day of the counting of the Omer (April 14th… and please accept my apologies for falling behind on these posts!) I wanted to highlight the interpretation of Rabbi Gavriel Goldfeder in his little but powerful guide to the Omer entitled The 50th Gate. Unlike some of our teachers who understand Tiferet to be "balance," Goldfeder understands it as "nuance" or perhaps subtlety. Here's part of how he interprets the 17th day of the"Tiferet in Tiferet,"
This commentary really hit home with me, in two related ways.
There is a school of psychotherapy that has proven particularly helpful to people struggling with addiction, self harm, Borderline Personality Disorder, emotional volatility and impulsive behavior. It is called DBT, which stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. An evidence-based form of cognitive behavior therapy, DBT is deeply rooted in mindfulness practice. The therapy, very much skills-based and practical, teaches people to practice dialectical thinking; to move beyond extreme, black-and-white approaches to difficult situations and instead, to find a dialectical synthesis, a third way, between the extremes, to find a middle ground (Wise Mind) between the extremes of Rational Mind and Emotion Mind. I've had the opportunity to learn a good deal about DBT in recent years, and this commentator very much reminded me of the teachings of this therapeutic modality.
I was also taken by this commentary because our teacher's comment about moving "beyond the rigidity of our usual responses" reminded me of those times when our daughter was younger, times when her path early in life necessarily took a different direction than I had imagined, and I found myself stiffening up inside and resisting the necessary change. It was only when a therapist pointed this out to me that I understood that my fearful reaction to "things not going according to plan" was rooted in my own rigidity, my unwillingness to find a third way between the extremes of "exactly what I imagined" and "totally out of my control."
How have you experienced, in your own life, occasions when you have needed to identify that "3rd way?"
Please, keep on posting!
Rabbi Steven Folberg
Tiferet is about nuanced involvement in a situation. It requires that we move beyond the rigidity of our usual responses: incorporation – yes/and – rather than rejection - either/or. It is not about choosing sides, but about understanding how they fit together. Tiferet of Tiferet then, ensures that the expression of our nuance reflects the yes/and mentality…
This commentary really hit home with me, in two related ways.
There is a school of psychotherapy that has proven particularly helpful to people struggling with addiction, self harm, Borderline Personality Disorder, emotional volatility and impulsive behavior. It is called DBT, which stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. An evidence-based form of cognitive behavior therapy, DBT is deeply rooted in mindfulness practice. The therapy, very much skills-based and practical, teaches people to practice dialectical thinking; to move beyond extreme, black-and-white approaches to difficult situations and instead, to find a dialectical synthesis, a third way, between the extremes, to find a middle ground (Wise Mind) between the extremes of Rational Mind and Emotion Mind. I've had the opportunity to learn a good deal about DBT in recent years, and this commentator very much reminded me of the teachings of this therapeutic modality.
I was also taken by this commentary because our teacher's comment about moving "beyond the rigidity of our usual responses" reminded me of those times when our daughter was younger, times when her path early in life necessarily took a different direction than I had imagined, and I found myself stiffening up inside and resisting the necessary change. It was only when a therapist pointed this out to me that I understood that my fearful reaction to "things not going according to plan" was rooted in my own rigidity, my unwillingness to find a third way between the extremes of "exactly what I imagined" and "totally out of my control."
How have you experienced, in your own life, occasions when you have needed to identify that "3rd way?"
Please, keep on posting!
Rabbi Steven Folberg
blog comments powered by Disqus